50/50 Review

This is really kinda late, but no one else posted this and I have to write a review for a film in current release for a class anyway so I decided to post this.

We all know the saying, "You have to laugh to keep from crying." I have a feeling that this sentiment, along with the fact that this was a true story, was one of the main inspirations for this film. 50/50 tells the story of a likeable 20-something guy named Adam Lerner (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who finds out, pretty much out of the blue, that he has cancer and his odds are 50/50. He's stunned. He runs, he eats well, and has always refrained from smoking. How could a young, healthy guy like that get cancer? Well, shit happens. His relief is his best friend Kyle (Seth Rogan). While Kyle tries to keep it together and act tough for the both of them, you can tell he's hurting inside. Adam's other relief is his girlfriend Rachael (Bryce Dallas Howard), but she proves herself to be not so trustworthy and Adam breaks up with her. Immediately afterwards, Kyle adopts the attitude that Adam could use his cancer to pick up dates.

When Adam isn't spending time with Kyle, he's either getting his weekly chemo treatments with two of the hippest old guys on the block, Alan and Mitch (Philip Baker Hall and Matt Frewer) or he's seeing the hospital-appointed psychiatrist Katherine (Ana Kendrick). It is during these meetings with Katherine that we begin to see Adam's true feelings about his disease. He's aloof at first, bu the more the innocent and inexperienced doctor probes, the more he reveals his fears. These scenes during their meetings are some of the best in the film, and some of the most honest scenes in recent cinema.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt does an outstanding job as Adam. If he isn't nominated for Best Actor at the upcoming Oscars it will be a crime. He does such a great job of conveying all the different emotions that Adam is going through. Seth Rogan is his usual self when he's being funny, but he has a couple of serious moments as well and pulls them off beautifully. Ana Kendrick is as cute and charming as any actress I've ever seen. Anjelica Huston plays Adam's neurotic mother with the skills that only a seasoned actress like herself could pull off. Her neurosis is not without cause, either. Not only does her son have cancer, but her husband (Serge Houde) has Alzheimer's.

The most wonderful aspect of this film is that it perfectly blends drama with comedy. I have to admit I was a little skeptical when I went in to see the film. Knowing that Seth Rogan was a big part of it and that the story was based off of his best friend and writer of the film, Will Reiser, who had cancer and beat it. I was unsure if they would be able to balance the drama and the comedy, or if it would turn out to be a run-of-the-mill Seth Rogan comedy. My fears were dashed, however, because 50/50 is just as funny as it is heartfelt and I can't remember a film in recent memory that's like that. If there are any cliches in the film, and I counted few, the superb acting, the skillful direction, smart screenplay, and the onscreen chemistry between all of the characters more than makes up for them. One of the best films I've seen all year. CHYEAH!

A Love/Hate Relationship for the Ages

George Lucas is both a genius and an idiot. He gave us one of the most beloved movie series of all time, and he's been fucking with it ever since. These new changes are on the upcoming Blu Ray release of Star Wars. Here's the latest:

1. Darth Vader yells, “No, noooo!” while The Emperor is electrocuting Luke.
2. Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Krayt Dragon yell now sounds like a pedophile getting his dick caught in a screen door.
3. The Ewoks blink now.

Below are videos containing the first two of these atrocities.





If I'm actually gonna purchase the nearly 100 dollar blu ray set, he better have included the original theatrical versions. Son of a bitch.

Let's Get This Out of the Way

So last night, as everyone is aware by now, Osama Bin Laden was killed. President Obama made a speech last night in which he stated that he had information of Bin Laden's whereabouts, and ordered the operation to capture and/or kill him. It is this CHYEAH contributor's greatest wish that Bin Laden's death will ease the grief of some, but also that his death will not incur the wrath of the organization he leaves behind, Al Qaeda. While his death is exciting for many, I pray that in the years to come we do not look back on last night and say, "I wish we'd left him alive." No one knows what lies ahead, but it must be noted that while now seems to be a time for celebration, the future could hold more dark times. Hopefully the death of Osama Bin Laden will weaken the resolve of Al Qaeda, but I somehow doubt it. Sorry to add such a somber note to this website, but I feel this has to be addressed if for no other reason than to move on and get back to more CHYEAH-worthy topics.

Not a Western, but a "Southern"

Here's an interesting piece of "news" I stumbled upon recently. I'm not big on speculation, but I am big on Quentin Tarantino. As a matter of fact, he's probably my favorite filmmaker. At any rate, there's some talk that Mr. Brown's next film could be a western--er that is, southern. The rumor is that Tarantino has been working on a script for a western film set in the deep south that deals with slavery, not in a dramatic, Oscar-worthy way, but in a spaghetti western way. Since his last film Inglourious Basterds has been out on DVD and Blu Ray for quite some time now, I am very eager for QT to get to work on his next project. If there is any credence to this rumor, I would love to see how QT would handle the topic of slavery. Quite frankly I'd love to see how QT would handle any subject. One can be sure if there is anything to this story, the movie he makes will be badass. Inglourious Basterds was, in my opinion, Tarantino's best film since Pulp Fiction.

Another story floating around is that Tarantino will eventually get to "Kill Bill 3." Uma Thurman has started this story by stating that it will be put on hold due to the 'southern' film he may be making. Of course, if he does make "KB3" it won't be called "Kill Bill 3" since The Bride already K'd B. But it does seem to confirm the rumor that was started when the first 2 KB films came out, that a sequel would involve Vernita Green's daughter coming back to get revenge on The Bride for killing her mother in the first Chapter of the first film.

As I said, I'm not normally a fan of rumors and speculation, especially when it comes to film because almost every rumor you ever hear about a film that is yet to be made is wrong. When it comes to Quentin Tarantino's films, which seem like they don't come often enough, any information is relished by me and hopefully by you too. CHYEAH!!

9 Movies that Changed My Life

So I've been thinking for a long time now about finally committing myself to a list of what I believe to be the 10 greatest films ever made. Being that I haven't seen a lot of movies that some consider to be the greatest (Gone With the Wind, Casablanca...etc) I'm gonna hold off for a little while longer. Ok, so I am pussing out a little...but I think I've come up with something a little more interesting. These are the 9 movies that changed my life; meaning that these movies evoked powerful emotions, made me think, and made me love movies and want to be involved in the film industry. These are my favorite movies of all time.
























#9. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

The image of Gene Wilder wearing khaki pants, blue/purple velvet blazer, and chocolate-colored top hat, walking like a feeble man down this walkway to greet the hundreds of fans who had come to see him, stopping, then slowly falling over into a triumphant somersault will forever be ingrained in my mind whenever someone mentions this film to me. There is a magic in this film that no other film directed at children since maybe E.T. could achieve. You have the tragically underprivileged Charlie Bucket and his family, the chance of a lifetime, and the most inventive and amazing factory ever. The music is great and the visuals are excellent.























#8. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The first time I saw this movie, I didn't know what to think. Here were a bunch of grown men, dressed up like knights of the 10th century, running around and acting completely absurd and foolishly as if they were children. After watching it more times, I realized that is the charm of this bizarrely funny movie. This film introduced me to nonsense humor. Now, the key is that it's nonsense "humor" and not just nonsense. If you want nonsense, just watch Jaws 3 and 4. That film is full of nonsense that makes you mad you watched the movie in the first place. This movie is full of nonsense that makes you wish you came up with the gags. Whoever came up with using two coconut halves to sound like horses feet...genius.

























#7. The Dark Knight

I have never anticipated a movie's release more than this. Not even Revenge of the Sith. This is without a doubt the best comic book/superhero movie ever made. It's the Godfather of superhero films. When director Christopher Nolan took over the Batman franchise in the mid 2000's, there really wasn't a way to go wrong. The last Batman film was Batman and Robin and...well...there's nothing to say about it that hasn't already been said a thousand times. People's expectations were high, but no one expected what Nolan gave them. We got a grittier, more realistic version of Batman than ever before. At the end of Batman Begins, we got the cliffhanger of Batman holding the Joker card. From that moment I was jacked for the second film. I could not wait to see his take on the Joker. When the first 52-second teaser came out for The Dark Knight, and you heard the voice of the Joker and a brief laugh, well I just about dropped a load. When the first full-length trailer came out and you finally saw Heath Ledger in his scary, purple glory I had to go for the defibrillator. This movie catapulted Batman to new heights, and gave Heath Legder his most memorable role ever, which he received an Academy Award for. Although he passed away before the film came out, his performance will endure for years just like Anthony Hopkins' character of Hannibal Lecter in...
























#6. The Silence of the Lambs

When I look back on this film, I have a theory on why Anthony Hopkins won the Academy Award for Best Actor as Hannibal Lecter. The key to his performance was restraint. Impeccable restraint. Think about the first time we see him: Jodie Foster walks down this disgusting dungeon of a hallway to the very end, where we find Hannibal Lecter...standing. Quietly, behind plate glass, looking proper and distinguished. If it weren't for the prison uniform, you could have plopped him down in the middle of a fancy party. When he speaks to Clarice Starling, he is calm, collected, and speaks very eloquently. He appears on the outside to be the very image of proper. Then, in the middle of the film, we are violently remembered why he stands in that cell with plate glass at the end of the dungeon. This film is scary. Very scary. It is much more frightening when the killer is not a Freddy or a Jason, but a polite Englishman who draws landscapes of Paris from his memory and drinks Chianti with his liver...his human liver.























#5. Star Wars

Is there anyone on this planet who doesn't love Star Wars? That's a stupid question, of course there are. But they're stupid anyway so they don't count. The films have one of the most iconic opening sequences of any movies ever made. "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." then BOOM, the score hits you like a triumphant kick in the balls. The first scenes of Star Destroyers flying overhead shooting at the rebel ship evoke memories of 2001 when that ship comes by. No one will ever forget the first time they saw Darth Vader step through that blasted out door. Menacing, black, and 7 feet tall, he was immediately the biggest badass in the galaxy. Everyone knows the story so I won't explain it. The first film was followed by two sequels that completed the first half of George Lucas' operatic space saga. In the second film came one of the biggest twists in movie history, and in the third, one of the greatest redemptions. After 20 years, the three prequels were made, and while they don't hold a candle to the original three, they are still respectable films that bring the full story into better focus. All in all, there will never be a series of films that I value more.






















#4. 2001: A Space Odyssey

This is the only movie on this list that I've only seen once. It made that big of an impression on me. Before I saw this film, I knew that most directors and actors alike considered Stanley Kubrick to be a genius. After seeing this film, I knew why. Before this movie I had seen two other Kubrick films: The Shining and Eyes Wide Shut. The latter I saw as a young teenager and just thought it was cool cause of all the nudity (and there is a lot). Oh the priorities of a 13 year old. I saw the Shining when I was a little older and fully appreciated it when I watched it last year. I had heard of 2001 for years. I heard it was great, I heard it was groundbreaking, I heard it was an experience like none-other. I will say that this movie leaves its impressions in your head with a timer on them. It wasn't till the next morning when I started to reflect back on the movie that it hit me. It was great, it was groundbreaking, and it was an experience like no other. To try and explain what happens in this film would be stupid. It has to be seen. It demands your attention, and you find yourself offering it up eagerly. I will describe a couple of sequences that I absolutely love. The first is the opening sequence. We see a dark shape; the camera rises slowly while Also sprach Zarathustra plays over the scene. As we watch, we begin to see that the shape is the moon. As the camera continues its ascent, we see the Earth rise and eventually the Sun. This is one of the most triumphant and epic openings of any film. The second sequence I'm particularly fond of is one in which an ape picks up a bone and begins to smack it on the ground, hitting other bones. Then, slowly, amazingly, something happens. Comprehension. For the first time in history, man can comprehend. The result is that man has discovered tools. The rest of the film is a roller coaster ride that takes you from prehistory all the way to 2001 and beyond.
























#3. Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino is the man. That's all I can say. He's simply the most badass writer/director that has ever lived. His most badass film for me is his sophomore effort Pulp Fiction. This was only Tarantino's second film, and it is still his best. That's like if you were a rookie baseball player, and your second time up to bat you hit a grand slam. You have the vibrant characters, the non-linear storytelling, the gritty rawness, and just for good measure, the gimp. This epic crime/comedy (that's right...a crime/comedy) film broke all the rules and created new ones. It told it's story backwards and sideways, it focused heavily on quirky, brilliant dialogue and bizarre action. When it first came out, no one quite knew what to think. Even film critic Roger Ebert was a bit speechless. After the first screening at Cannes, Tarantino asked Ebert what he thought of the film and Ebert replied, "Well, it's either the years best film, or the worst." He later settled upon the former and gave the film 4 stars and actually stated that it was the best film of the year. The premiere reason is the dialogue. I challenge anyone to come up with a film that contains more original, interesting dialogue than Pulp Fiction. Where else are you gonna find a movie that talks about what the French call a quarter pounder, the sexual implications of a foot rub, and a freakin gimp?
























#2. The Godfather

Francis Ford Coppola's 3-hour epic about the inside of organized crime is arguably the greatest film ever made. One of the reasons for this may be that the film tells its story of the mafia from the inside instead of the perspective most people are familiar with, the outside. Another reason for it greatness can be attributed to its all-star cast: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, James Caan, Diane Keaton, Abe Vigoda...the list goes on. I mentioned that the story is told from the inside. Indeed, if it weren't for the fact that we weren't already aware of the occupations of the members of the Corleone family, we might regard them as heros. We do come to sympathize with them, though, and that is something rather extraordinary. These are people who engage in illegal activity and can have men killed as easily as giving a look or a nod. In one scene, after a murder has just occurred, one of the men who was involved is making tomato sauce and talks about the hit in the most matter-of-fact way: "Oh, Paulie? Yeah, you won't see him no more." That's it. He goes about his cooking. The fact that this film makes us sympathize with these characters is quite an achievement, and it all goes back to the fact that no civilians are casualties in this film. Everyone who dies is either in or connected to the mafia. The only exception is a cop named McClusky, and even he is dirty. This film is also significant for reviving the career of Marlon Brando, who gave an Academy Award-winning performance as the head of the family, Don Vito Corleone. Even though this film is 3 hours in length, there isn't a wasted frame. Every minute is essential to the telling of this story. If you haven't seen this movie, you are truly missing a masterpiece of film history.

While The Godfather may be the greatest film ever made, there is one film that has had a bigger and more significant impact on me than any other and that film is....


























#1. JAWS

The first time I ever saw Jaws, I was 4 or 5 years old. This was the first movie I ever saw that made me love movies. After seeing Jaws, I wanted to see it again and again. This film had such a big impact on me that not only did I become interested in movies, but I became interested in sharks. For years I checked books out of the library and bought videos on sharks. Any information I could get, I did. Here are a few trivial facts about Jaws:
1. It was the first film to break the 100 million dollar mark in ticket sales
2. It was director Steven Spielberg's second theatrical feature film
3. It is the sole reason that, today, big-budget blockbusters open in the summer

Before Jaws, the summer time was usually the time where the studios released their more artsy, dramatic films like The Graduate. After Jaws, that all changed. After Jaws, the summer blockbuster was born. For director Steven Spielberg, this was the most god-awful filming experience of his career. They shot the film on location in Martha's Vineyard, and because of that, they had to deal with the unpredictability of the sea. The weather was never the way they wanted it to be, miscellaneous sailboats would wind up in the backgrounds of shots, and perhaps the biggest problem of all, the shark never worked. The shark had been assembled and tested back in California in freshwater tanks and then shipped to Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts and salt water. As a result of the salt water and bad conditions, the shark didn't work. I could go on and on about all of this behind the scenes stuff, but you can find out all you want in the 2-hour making-of documentary on the 30th Anniversary DVD. The performances by Roy Schieder as the timid and finally heroic Chief Brody, Robert Shaw as the salty and experienced Captain Quint, and Richard Dreyfuss as the young and cocky Marine Biologist, Matt Hooper, are superb in conveying the journey that these three men embark on, and their battle with the most terrifying man-eater ever put on film. At the end, what you have is the perfect adventure film. Yes, even a better adventure than Indiana Jones or Star Wars. This is a film that EVERYONE needs to see time and time again.

I'm Not Sure What to Say

Every once in a while a film comes along that is inexplicably good. I know what I've just seen is great work, but I don't know why. This has happened to me twice in the past two days. On Friday Turbo and I watched Blade Runner. It was my first time seeing this film and while it was, indeed, a good movie, I couldn't tell you what happened. The same thing happened in a bigger way last night when I watched the film Magnolia. Written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood) Magnolia stars an ensemble cast that consists of Tom Cruise, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Philip Baker Hall, and John C. Reilly. The plot, more or less, tells the stories of all the characters these actors portray, and how coincidence brings them all together...more or less. The performances are really something. Tom Cruise especially brings his finest acting I think I've ever seen. This is a 3-hour-long opera of a film. There is a scene towards the end where something so inexplicable and surprising happens...well I don't really have the words to express it at the moment. This isn't really a review, merely a recommendation. I urge everyone to pick this up and watch it, just for the sheer ingenuity. Oh, and if you do see it, let me know what you think of the, shall I say, Biblical-like climax.

Mr. Hands Presents: The 12 Best Movies of the Millennium 2000-2010

Finally. I've been thinking about this post for a long time, and now it's complete. Ok I don't have time to explain my choices at the moment but maybe I'll come back to this at a later date. The reason there's twelve is cause there's a tie for my 2002 pick. By the way, I'd be very interested to see what the other posters on CHYEAH would pick for their best films of the millennium. Anyway, here's what I got.


Memento (2000)





























Monster's Ball (2001)



























Gangs of New York/Catch Me if You Can (2002)




















































Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)


























Million Dollar Baby (2004)



























Brokeback Mountain (2005)



























The Departed (2006)




























No Country for Old Men (2007)



























The Dark Knight (2008)





























Inglourious Basterds (2009)




























The King's Speech (2010)

Black Mask and Talia Al Ghul

....are officially joining the ensemble for Christopher Nolan's new Batman film The Dark Knight Rises. They will be played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marion Cotillard respectively. Finally! People have been wanting JGL in the Batman film for awhile now (myself included) and now he's playing Black Mask. Cotillard is also expecting her first child in May, the same month that TDKR is scheduled to begin filming. Kudos to her. She's a tough gal. As much as I've been anticipating this film since I first saw the closing credits of the Dark Knight, I'm anticipating it more than ever after this news. Well played Nolan.

Mr. Hands' Oscar Predictions 2011

The nominations for the 83rd annual Academy Awards were announced this morning. There were few surprises that I found, but I thought I might share my predictions for who and what will take home the honors at this year's ceremony. I will list my predictions of what I think WILL happen, along with my suggestions of what SHOULD happen. Here we go.

First I'll start off with some of the less anticipated awards, but let's be honest: these are Oscars. To win one for anything is an achievement.

Best Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, and Visual Effects:


















I really have no idea who will get these but I believe Inception should get all three since it probably won't win any others (Christopher Nolan was even snubbed for a Best Director nomination. Mad gay.)

Best Original Score:















Gotta give it to the Social Network on this one. I'm not sure it doesn't deserve it, although Inception is also nominated in this category.

Best Animated Feature:
















I think it will go to Toy Story 3. I haven't seen either How to Train Your Dragon or The Illusionist, but I still think it'll go to Woody and Buzz.

Best Original Screenplay:
















This is really a toss-up between The King's Speech and The Fighter, but I really think Inception deserves it. Nolan worked on it for ten years for Christ's sake.

Best Adapted Screenplay:
















The Social Network will take this, along with many others I suspect. I'm fine with that. The only other movie that I think deserves it as much is True Grit.

Best Director:
















If David Fincher doesn't win for The Social Network, I'll be shocked. Winner of the Critic's Choice and Golden Globe already, this should be a lock for him. I must say I'm a bit disturbed that Christopher Nolan didn't even receive a nomination in this category.

Ok, here come the big ones.


Best Supporting Actress:
















This will no doubt go to Melissa Leo for her role in The Fighter. She also won the Critic's Choice Award and the Golden Globe so it would be stupid to think the Oscar isn't next. I personally would like to see it go to Hailee Steinfeld for her performance in True Grit.

Best Supporting Actor:
















This will surely go to Christian Bale for The Fighter. If you ask me, this is a long time coming for Bale. He's one of the best actors working and totally deserves this.

Best Actress:
















Natalie Portman has been racking up award after award since the film Black Swan came out and has never looked back. She has also won both the Critic's Choice and Golden Globe Awards and deserves the Oscar as well.

Best Actor:
















The highly-coveted Best Actor award will go to Colin Firth for his exceptional work in The King's Speech. Firth is a veteran actor who has been in the Oscar running for years and come out empty-handed. This is his year.

Best Picture:
















I'll be very surprised if The Social Network doesn't come away with this one. It's been pummeling it's way through the awards season and is the favorite for this award. My pick for Best Picture, however, would have to be The King's Speech. However, when The Social Network wins, it will not be ill-deserved.

The 83rd Annual Academy Awards airs Feb 27 on ABC at 8pm.

Speeeeeeeeeeeeech!! : The King's Speech Review

It is estimated that the number one fear among most people is public speaking. Three out of four people have trouble with speech anxiety and fear it even more than death. If you happen to be the Duke of York, eventual heir to the throne of England, and you have a stammer, this fear must be intolerable.

This is the case in Tom Hooper's new film The King's Speech, which tells the story of Albert, the Duke of York (Colin Firth), often called "Bertie", coping with and eventually overcoming his speech impediment. Aiding him in his quest for normal speech is a speech therapist named Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush), who uses unorthodox methods of muscle relaxing, tongue twisters, and even cursing to allow Albert to speak more clearly. The film opens with a shot of a microphone, a shot that reprises itself several times and is an instrumental device in the story. The Duke and his wife Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter) stand in a stairwell, nervously. Albert is nervous, of course, because he must address thousands of people, and Elizabeth is nervous because she wants desperately for her husband to do well.

The first scene takes place in 1925 at Wembley Stadium. The occasion is the British Empire Exhibition and Albert must give the opening speech. He steps up to the mic, looking terrified and only manages a couple of sentences before the camera mercifully cuts to the next scene. Albert sees a doctor to help with the stammer, and the doctor prescribes sterilized marbles to be inserted into the Duke's mouth while he reads. This method is archaic and ineffective, and Albert leaves in frustration, telling his wife he wants no more treatment. Elizabeth still believes that someone can help her husband, and she sets off to see a speech therapist named Lionel Logue. When the sessions begin, Logue insists that he and Albert be on a first-name basis. Albert is slightly offended but eventually agrees, and in that first session Logue shows him that he can talk without stammering by putting headphones on his head and having him read while listening to classical music.

The rest of the film depicts the relationship developed between between Logue and Albert (whom Logue calls "Bertie" which is a name only his family has ever used). This is pivotal because in order to really get through to Albert, Logue must become his friend. The final scenes of this film, after Albert becomes King George VI and gives his most important speech, are wonderful. Director Tom Hooper took a man standing in front of a microphone reading off of three sheets of paper, and transformed it into the most moving and touching scene of the film.

If Colin Firth wins the Best Actor Oscar for his performance, it will be well deserved. Geoffrey Rush is also excellent as Lionel Logue. Also, Helena Bonham Carter is sure to receive an Oscar nod for her performance as Albert's wife Elizabeth. She has nothing but confidence and hope for her husband and sticks by his side throughout the entire ordeal. Tom Hooper's direction is masterful, especially in the last scene. He could win best director for that scene alone.

All in all, The King's Speech could very well be the best film of the year. It will surely come down between this and The Social Network. While I have not seen The Social Network, but plan to, it will have its work cut out for it after seeing The King's Speech. Not only is it a tale of a sympathetic figure overcoming an obstacle, it's a tale of a sympathetic figure overcoming an obstacle done remarkably well.

Love: Pure and True

I realize this is six years too late, but admittedly I was not as keen of a film goer when this first came out. I saw this for the first time a couple of years ago and thought it was good. I saw it again two days ago and realized it is amazing. It is as moving a love story as I have ever witnessed on screen and, if there is justice in this world, will be counted among the greatest love stories ever told. This film was labeled the "gay cowboy movie" from the moment people heard of its existence. If you see this film and think that's all it is, you have missed everything. Might I suggest for you a nice picture book or perhaps a connect the dots puzzle with half the dots already connected.

The story begins with two men; Ennis del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) who meet awkwardly outside of a trailer in Wyoming. It is summer in 1963 and both men are in need of work. They are instructed to herd sheep up on Brokeback Mountain. This is where they will spend the entire summer and where the seeds of their relationship are planted. One night, when Ennis is attempting to sleep outside, Jack insists that they share the tent due to the cold. That night Ennis and Jack make love for the first time very suddenly. The next day is filled with tension and awkwardness as the men know they must address the previous night. "You know I ain't queer," Ennis says. "Me neither," replies Jack. Over the course of the summer, they become more comfortable with who they are and fall deeply in love.

Jack is able to accept who he is better than Ennis. One day Ennis tells Jack a story of two men who lived together in his hometown. They were both violently murdered, and Ennis' father took him and his brother to see the bodies. "He wanted to make sure we saw it. For all I know, he did the deed," says Ennis. Ennis' situation is further complicated by the fact that he has a fiancee waiting for him back home. Both men depart at the end of the summer and wish each other well. They go and form lives for themselves by settling down and having a family. Ennis marries his fiancee Alma (Michelle Williams who later became Ledger's real life wife) and Jack marries a horse-rider turned business woman named Lureen (Anne Hathaway). They still long for each other and finally meet after four years of separation. Their love is such that they immediately, and almost violently, kiss in the front yard of Ennis' house.

The entire tale spans twenty years and as I watched I was reminded of the Shawshank Redemption, which also tells the story of a relationship between two men that spans two decades. While that relationship was merely one of close friendship, it could just have easily been more than that. Jack and Ennis are not just "gay cowboys" but representations of anyone who has ever longed for something they didn't know how to have. The fact that these men are gay is incidental. As I was watching this with my girlfriend, I had many thoughts about us and our relationship.

The performances in this film are superb. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal create immensely moving characters with Ennis and Jack. The love they have for each other is easily as powerful, if not more so, than any love shared between and man and a woman in any film I've ever seen. In fact, I cannot remember a love story as touching as this. Jack and Ennis have a greater appreciation for their love than most. In the sixties, seventies, and eighties in rural America, being openly gay was impossible and I'm not sure that's not still the case. They loved each other so much they waited for decades, only to be relieved by "fishing trips" two or three times a year. They told their wives they were going fishing, but Ennis' wife noticed there were never any fish.

The women in this film also give great performances. It cannot be easy to learn that the man you married and built a family with was really in love with another man. Michell Williams and Anne Hathaway had the daunting task of portraying two very different women who were going through the same thing. The only difference is that Hathaway's character's revelation about her husband comes much later in the film than does Williams'. Perhaps she didn't want to know. Perhaps she suspected but never wanted to accept it.

To call this film a "gay cowboy movie" is an offensive oversimplification. The film is a beautiful story of forbidden love, the struggle to come to terms with one's self, and the quest for what your heart craves. This film could have just as easily been about any lovers for whom a relationship would be taboo; people of different religious or ethnic backgrounds for instance. As stated, this is a powerful and gripping love story that can tug the heart strings of men, women, gays, straights, old, and young. Most people say the greatest romantic film of all time is Casablanca. Rick and Ilsa will always have Paris. Ennis and Jack will always have Brokeback Mountain.

Can the Coens NOT Make a Good Film? : True Grit Review

Last night/this morning I, Turbo, Rod-Man, and older version of Rod-Man saw the new Coen brothers film "True Grit". Ever since I heard about this film, I've been anticipating its release. In my book, the Coens can do no wrong. I haven't seen all of their films but of the ones I have seen, I've enjoyed them. "Fargo" and "No Country for Old Men" were great thrillers and "Burn After Reading" and "The Big Lebowski" were amazing comedies. "True Grit" sort of falls in between those two distinctions. This film has some really strong comedic moments as well as drama and thrills. Above all else, it's a really good western.

I have not seen the original John Wayne version of this film but I did see its trailer. That film (made in 1969) seemed to be a bit more campy than the Coen's version. That is understandable, given the time. John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his performance as U.S. Marshall Rueben "Rooster" Cogburn. Jeff Bridges plays that same character in this version, and I must say that this character of his might be my favorite. I loved his portrayal of "The Dude" in the Coen's 1998 film "The Big Lebowski" but somehow, he brings a powerful and awesome presence to this character. He combines drunkenness, coldness, authority, precision, and love and caring all at the same time. No mean feat.

The other actors in this film are great as well. Matt Damon has a good comedic role as the Texas Ranger "LaBoeuf" (pronounced constantly as "le beef"). LaBoeuf has been hunting a man named Tom Cheney, played by Josh Brolin, who is also responsible for killing the father of the main character Mattie Ross, played exceptionally well by the newcomer Hailee Steinfeld. According to Wikipedia, Steinfeld has already been nominated for dozens of film critics' awards for her performance, and she deserves them all. She plays Mattie Ross as a no-nonsense girl who has been raised in the old west, seen lots of things, and can ride with the best of men.

Will Jeff Bridges be nominated for another Best Actor Oscar? Probably. Will he win? Doubtful, seeing as he won last year, but who knows? Will the Coens' new film be nominated for best Picture? It should. God knows that films like Alice in Wonderland, The Tourist, and Burlesque have no business being on the ballot. However, the Coens had their big year in 2007 with No Country for Old Men so a Best Picture win is also doubtful. What isn't doubtful is that this is one of the best films of the year. I have never been the biggest fan of westerns, but this film has inspired me to be a bit more open minded. I can say that if the Coen brothers put their names on a film, I will go see it as should everyone. Go see True Grit. In fact, see it twice.

I rate this film 8 colt pistols

An Impossible Struggle; A Powerful Film : 127 Hours Review

Last night Turbo, Rod-Man, and I went to see the film "127 Hours". I must say that this is one of the most powerful, engrossing, scary, and beautiful films I've ever seen. That's a lot of adjectives, but they're all appropriate.

This film is directed by Danny Boyle, who also directed the Academy Award-winning Slumdog Millionaire. This film is better. It's star, as most people know, is James Franco. Everyone was most likely introduced to him when he played Harry Osbourne in the Spiderman films. In this film, he really comes into his own as an actor, and I believe he should be nominated for a Best Actor Oscar. This is his "Cast Away" role. Excepting the prologue, involving his escapades with a couple of fellow female hikers, and a few flashbacks and hallucinations, Franco carries the vast majority of the 93 minute film. The film itself also deserves a Best Picture nod. I can honestly say that this film had me on every level, and it's a rare film that can do that.

Of course most people are aware that this is based on a true story. Hiker and general adventurer Aron Ralston went on a trip to a canyon in Utah to go climbing, and in the process, gets his arm trapped under a rock. That is what happens, yes, but not what this film is about. This film is about the struggle to survive, coming to terms with yourself as a person, and having the sheer willpower to do the unthinkable in order to live. You know why Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, and Leatherface aren't scary? Because they aren't real. The situations in those horror films will never happen in real life. This film scares on a totally different level. While not all of us are hikers and climbers, this could literally happen to anyone who attempts such a thing. While watching Franco struggle to free himself and, slowly over the course of several days, realize what must be done to survive, all I could think about was what I would do in that same situation. That, reader, is truly scary.

Everyone should see this film. This film will make you think about things you would never have otherwise thought of. I will say the scene where he finally does cut his arm off is graphic, but let's be honest, if you were in that same position, it wouldn't be any prettier. As a matter of fact, if it was me, I hope I would have the same resolve and levelheadedness of Aron Ralston. After all, he survived.

Rating: Nothing cute with this one; a well-deserved 4 Stars ****

An Appeal to the Film Industry

With superhero/comic book films becoming an increasingly present force in recent years, several things have happened. First, and positively, an important medium has been brought to the forefront of American cinema and given much more of the respect that it deserves. Second, it has given fans of comic books and superheros something a bit more mainstream to look forward to. Third, and negatively, it has produced some god-awful films. With the past few summers being dedicated to huge openings for comic book films, and the next few to follow suit, I have a few suggestions.

Let's start with the positive aspects of film-adapted versions of comic books. Of course everyone is familiar with comic books whether you're a fan or not. Admittedly, I have only been a fan for about a year now and even so, I really only read Batman stuff. But I digress. Now, comic book movies have been around since about the 1940's (if this information is inaccurate, let me know). The first Batman movie ever made was in 1943. It was really a serial film released by Columbia Pictures that spanned 15 chapters. And of course everyone is familiar with the Superman franchise that started in the late 1970's. Only in the last decade, however, has the comic book movie come into its own.

With the new millennium, a new breed of comic book movie seemed to emerge. The good ones I recall were the first two Spider-Man films, the first two X-Men films, and both Batman films. The shit films include the 3rd Spider-Man, the first Hulk, the Fantastic Four films, Daredevil, Elektra, Superman Returns, Catwoman, the Punisher, Ghost Rider, and even though this isn't based on a comic book, you could argue that they are superheros in their own right, the Transformers. Now what the good films have in common is a good writing team, a competent director, and a good cast. What the bad films all share is not-so-great writing, directors who lost their way, and too much special effects.

Here are my suggestions for the comic book/superhero films yet to come:

1. Make sure the story is solid. Only simple-minded idiots will trade a good story for complex visuals. If the story isn't there, you have no movie.
2. Take notes from Spider-Man and Batman. The first two Spider-Man films were great and established that the superhero genre wasn't dead and, in fact could become a premiere genre in the years to come. The release of the Batman films proved this notion. With Christopher Nolan at the helm of Batman, he gave the world the best comic book/superhero film ever, The Dark Knight.
3. Don't let Michael Bay anywhere near the genre. He's already come too close with the Transformers and it's probably only a matter of time before some Hollywood fatcat lets him get him computer-generated hands on some superhero franchise. Go to wikipedia and look up his complete filmography and you'll be hard pressed to find one redeeming film in it.
4. Please use your budgets wisely. Chris Nolan is a man who knows how to use a 2oo million dollar budget well. In The Dark Knight, instead of pussing out and using CGI to flip an 18-wheeler in downtown Chicago, he actually flipped an 18-wheeler. In short, if anything can actually be done in the REAL WORLD, do it. Don't settle for CGI when it only costs a little more to actually put something real on camera.
5. Finally, STAY AWAY FROM 3-D. I cannot stress this enough. The same simple-minded idiots who substitute substance for superficial images love to go to the movies and see 3-D. They are amazed that shit appears to be coming off the screen. Folks, we're not 5. We get that it's possible. The problem is that with 3-D, you lose the quality of the image. It's not as sharp and bright as it could be. Again, Chris Nolan understands this, which is why none of The Dark Knight Rises will be shot in 3-D. I guess I could've just summed this whole thing up with "take notes from Christopher Nolan."

The Hardest I've Laughed in a Good While

It's been awhile since I've posted here. Being one of the "original" contributors to this blog I would apologize for my absence except I've been having a life. I have a girlfriend (really cuts down on your blogging, trust me) a second job, and college. Anyway I'm back now and here's why.

Last night I, Turbo, the Messiah, and some others went to the 3-D talkin pictures and saw a little film called Jackass 3D. Now, I am a huge fan of film (as evidenced by the fact that most of my posts are film reviews) but not such a huge fan of 3-D film. Call me old fashioned but I like my movies in the standard two dimensions. Last night, however, my mind may have been changed...just a little.

First let me say that this movie is not for everyone. In fact, this movie is specifically intended not to be for everyone. Only those who have watched Jackass from the beginning and love it will um...appreciate this movie. Second, I'm aware that Jackass 3D currently holds 59% approval on Rotten Tomatoes and I have read the reviews of the people who didn't like it and they all share a common flaw. They were reviewing this "film" like a film. This movie is not anything like a "movie." Just like the two previous Jackass movies, it is more or less a long episode of Jackass with a bigger budget for bigger stunts. Taking all of this into consideration I would give Jackass 3D four stars. I believe it is the funniest of all the Jackass movies, the grossest, and the best. If you are a die hard Jackass fan, seeing this third installment will be like playing an old and beloved video game or putting on an old piece of clothing you once wore. It is actually really nice to see how far these guys have come. Let's face it, they've spent their entire adult life dedicated to kicking each other in the balls, eating shit, drinking piss, breaking bones, and losing teeth all for the sake of entertainment. Sure, they've all profited from it but the toll it will take on their bodies in the long term is going to be greater. So I salute these knuckle headed noblemen for putting their health, and often their lives, at risk for us. I would give this film four stars based on the fact that 1) it is true Jackass entertainment, 2) the film does exactly what it intends to do: make us laugh, grimace, and applaud all at the same time, and 3) the stunts that take place are some of the best I can remember. These guys really have to sit down and come up with this stuff, and while some of it is indeed gross (Steve-O airborne in a port-o-potty filled with dog shit comes to mind) or just plain ingenious (using a jet to throw all manner of objects at each other) it is all good old fashioned entertainment. Like the vaudevillians and slapstick comedians that came before them, the Jackass boys have taken comedy and sheer physical ability and endurance to a new level. After all, when were you ever gonna see the Three Stooges drink someones ass sweat?

I rate this film 6 glass dildos.

Top 10 Greatest Actors of All Time

Or at least Mr. Hand's favorites.

Number 10
Brad Pitt

He's one of those actors who's grown on me in the past few years. Very good actor who I think should play more funny characters, provided he's given a script of the caliber of the Coen Brothers (ie Burn After Reading).

My Favorite Films: Se7en, Fight Club, Ocean's Trilogy, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Burn After Reading, Inglourious Basterds














Number 9
Robin Williams

One of the funniest people alive on this earth. He has a mind that moves at the speed of light. While some of his comedies aren't that funny, most, if not all, of his dramatic roles are superb. Great comedian as well as dramatic actor.

My Favorite Films: Good Morning Vietnam, Dead Poet's Society, Awakenings, Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Birdcage, Good Will Hunting, Insomnia, One Hour Photo













Number 8
Denzel Washington

What can I say? He's a true badass. One of the best actors of today and look no further than Training Day for good entertainment.

My Favorite Films: Glory, Malcolm X, Remember the Titans, Training Day, John Q, American Gangster, The Book of Eli











Number 7
Johnny Depp

One of my favorite actors of today. I can't wait to see the characters that he plays and how he plays them. Studied guys like Brando and it really shows. One of the best actors who's never won an Oscar, although he really deserves one.

My Favorite Films: Edward Scissorhands, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, Blow, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Pirates Trilogy, Secret Window, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street













Number 6
Heath Ledger

A great talent gone far too soon. Only with his latest films Brokeback Mountain and The Dark Knight did we get a chance to see him truly shine and give his two best performances (in my opinion). It could have only gotten better from there but at least he left us with a great catalog to look back on.

My Favorite Films: 10 Things I Hate About You, The Patriot, Monster's Ball, A Knight's Tale, Brokeback Mountain, The Dark Knight












Number 5
Gary Oldman

The villain. Gary Oldman plays bad guys like he was born to do it. Another of the finest actors working today and I can't wait to see what he does next.

My Favorite Films: Bram Stoker's Dracula, Leon, The Fifth Element, Hannibal, Harry Potter Films, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Book of Eli

Number 4
Anthony Hopkins

Regarded by some as the greatest living actor, Anthony Hopkins has portrayed the most memorable onscreen villain in movie history(only to be rivaled with Heath Ledger's Joker). The Silence of the Lambs is one of the greatest films ever and most of that greatness can be attributed to him.

My Favorite Films: The Silence of the Lambs, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Mission: Impossible 2, The Grinch, Hannibal, Hearts in Atlantis, Red Dragon














Number 3
Jack Nicholson

He may be a 72 year-old playboy who wears sunglasses indoors but no one can deny Jack Nicholson's legendary status in films. A great actor with an extensive career and multiple Oscars to show it. Dude is nuts but that's why we love him.

My Favorite Films: Chinatown, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, Batman, As Good As It Gets, About Schmidt, Something's Gotta Give, The Departed













Number 2
Daniel Day-Lewis

The best actor alive today, in my opinion. Daniel Day-Lewis is one of those rare method actors who selects his roles carefully and turns them into some of the most memorable characters ever on screen. It's rumored that he stays in character on the set between scenes and I don't doubt it. This man is truly committed to every performance and he has two Oscars to prove it. Best characters are Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York and Daniel Plainview from There Will Be Blood.

My Favorite Films: My Left Foot, The Last of the Mohicans, The Age of Innocence, Gangs of New York, There Will Be Blood















Number 1
Marlon Brando

The man. According to Jack Nicholson, "We are all Brando's children" and "When Brando dies, everyone else moves up one." Marlon Brando is the greatest actor of all time because he changed acting and influenced countless actors that came after him. In a time when overacting was king, Brando stepped in and brought "method' acting to the forefront. He showed truer and rawer emotions than any actor before him. He had a bizarre private life and was a bizarre person, but that only catapults his image as a star even higher. He was known for not caring much about acting as a craft and only really saw it as a job. This frustrated some and made others idolize him even more. He won two academy awards in his life; one for On the Waterfront and the other for the greatest film ever made, the Godfather. Marlon Brando refused to accept the latter and used the first Oscar he won as a doorstop. That just says awesome to me. Passed away in 2004 but his memory lives on in the classic films he left behind.

My Favorite Films: A Streetcar Named Desire, The Wild One, On the Waterfront, Guys and Dolls, The Godfather, Last Tango in Paris, Apocalypse Now, The Score