Brake Free Zone

Followers of chyeah, yesterday, something wondrous happened. However, in order for me to relay this fantastic tale of wonder and utter amazement, i must first tell you a story...

Once upon a time in 1939, General Motors introduced the Hydra-Matic automatic transmission. This amazing new technology utilized hydraulic coupling in what the Chrysler corporation coined, "Fluid Drive," and, more importantly, effectively destroyed the ability to drive of a majority of the American people. I say American because overseas, where intelligence is much more abundant, manual transmission is met with much higher popularity (I say intelligence is more abundant overseas simply because of the aforementioned reason). In fact, 27 countries recognize the the dumbing property of automatic transmission and only issue half-licenses to those imbecilic enough to drive automatic. For those of you who may view my rant on the inferiority of automatic transmissions as random or even absurd, fuck you, as I'm sure that it only seems this way because of your crippling stupidity brought on by your continued use of automatic vehicles.

Well, now that the preface to this tale of wonder has reached its conclusion, I can now relate exactly what occurred at around 10:32 p.m. on June the thirteenth of the sixth month of this two-thousand-and-ninth year. Last night, I was commissioned to drive Turbo back home after a slew of graduation parties that left both him and myself saying chyeah! On this journey, which encompassed numerous red lights, moronic drivers in my way, and a distance of 3.9 miles, I not once touched my brakes. Yes, yes, it was quite a feat, and one that could never be accomplished without the aid of a manual transmission, both because I downshifted the entire way and because had I been driving an automatic vehicle, I simply would not have had the brainpower to even think of attempting to accomplish such a tremendous deed.

As you sit in awe at my amazing adventure (or in a state of witless comatose brought on by your automatic transmission), I shall leave you with this: though your I.Q. level may reach into the negative integers, should you continue to follow chyeah and all things chyeah, the sin of automatic transmission can be forgiven, and always remember, CHYEAH! Also, '09 Bitches!